What’s It Really Like to Work Behind Bars? (Hint: The Girls Are Worse, the Hours Are Long, and Bodily Fluids Are a Given)
By Niki Gent, ex-jail insider, professional chaos-wrangler, and proud owner of too many stain remover recipes So, you want to know what it’s like to work behind bars? Let me save you a Google search and a few years of your life: it’s nothing like the movies, it’s nothing like the TV shows, and—brace yourself—it’s definitely not glamorous. First Things First: The Girls Are the Worst (And I Say That With Love) Let’s bust a myth right away: people think the men’s units are wild, but honestly? The women’s units are where the real drama lives. Forget catfights—think full-blown soap opera, with a dash of reality TV and a sprinkle of “did that really just happen?” I’ve seen friendships form and fall apart in the time it takes to microwave a noodle cup. I’ve refereed more arguments over hair straighteners, makeup, and love triangles than I ever thought possible. You haven’t lived until you’ve watched someone weaponise a bottle of shampoo. The Hours Are Long (And the Coffee Is Weak) You k...