A Day in the Life… Behind Bars


 

A Day in the Life… Behind Bars

By Niki Gent – Someone Who’s Seen a Lot (professionally)

 in Jails

Let me tell you something: working in jails gives you a very specific superpower — the ability to read a person by the way they toast their bread. And yes, that is a sentence you’ll never think you’d write.

People imagine jail as dark, scary, and dramatic. And sure… some of it is. But mostly? It’s human. Funny. Absurd. And a little ridiculous.

Here’s a peek behind the bars — and don’t worry, I won’t use any names (except mine, obviously).


6:30am – Rise and Shine… Or Don’t

You think your alarm is cruel? Try waking up a 90kg adult who has decided 6am is the perfect time to loudly proclaim everything they’re thinking about breakfast, their lawyer, and last night’s imaginary conspiracy.

Coffee is a distant dream. Breakfast is whatever slop the cafeteria deemed edible. And yes, it is mostly toast. The staff haven’t yet reached the point of judging anyone for the butter-to-toast ratio. That comes later.


8:00am – Exercise Time (Sort Of)

Jail exercise looks a lot like high-intensity staring. You either run on a tiny yard track while plotting your escape in your head, or you sit and count ceiling tiles and think deep thoughts about… ceiling tiles.

One of my favourite pastimes as a staff member? Observing how creative people get with boredom. You’d be amazed what a roll of toilet paper and some chewing gum can become. Art. Weapons. Weapons disguised as art. Sometimes all three at once.


10:30am – Meetings, Meetings, Meetings

There’s a lot of “sit in a room and talk” in jails. Sometimes it’s serious — risk assessments, conflict resolution, complaints. Other times, it’s watching someone try to convince everyone that their imaginary pet tarantula is evidence of good behaviour.

And yes… you will be part of the conversation. You will nod. You will smile. You will absolutely not mention what you really think.


12:00pm – Lunch

Imagine the worst school canteen food you’ve ever eaten. Now imagine that, except there’s a line of adults behind you trying to get the last piece of cake. That’s jail lunch.

And yet… people get very proud of their skills here. Who can scrape the most peanut butter off the lid without touching the bread? Who can drink soup without spilling? It’s a competitive sport.


2:00pm – Therapy / Programs / Trying to Learn

Yes, people can learn. Yes, programs exist. And yes, someone will always fall asleep during every single one.

I once ran a group where we tried mindfulness exercises. One participant managed to fall asleep mid-“breathe in, breathe out,” snore loudly, and wake up saying, “Wow, that really worked!”


4:00pm – Conflict Resolution (AKA Drama Hour)

If something is going to happen in jail, it happens between 4 and 6pm. Someone’s personal space is violated. Someone ate someone else’s toast. Someone is convinced their neighbour is part of a secret society.

You step in. Calm everyone down. Mediate. And somewhere in there, laugh. Because honestly, if you don’t laugh, you cry.


6:00pm – Dinner

Dinner looks a lot like lunch, but quieter. The food is usually slightly warmer. Everyone is slightly calmer. Except that one person who has declared war on the pudding.

And then there’s staff dinner. Oh, sweet, sweet staff dinner. Sometimes it’s just eating in peace, other times it’s sharing stories that are funnier than anything you’ll see on Netflix.


9:00pm – Lights Out (Sort Of)

Lights out means different things in jail. For some, it’s finally sleeping. For others, it’s plotting, scheming, thinking, or reading through all the text messages they’ve been forbidden to have.

As staff, it’s the best time to reflect on the day. The absurdity. The humanity. The sheer creativity and resilience people show in tiny, impossible circumstances.


What I Learned Working in Jails

  1. People are incredibly resourceful.

  2. Humor survives everywhere.

  3. Everyone has a story — sometimes tragic, sometimes ridiculous, always human.

  4. And yes… sometimes the most mundane things (like toast) can feel like life or death.

Working in jails makes you appreciate life. The chaos. The small freedoms. The simple pleasures. And it gives you a treasure trove of stories that are funny, heartbreaking, and inspiring all at once.

Would I go back? Absolutely. Do I still chuckle when someone dramatically complains about their toast? You bet.

Because at the end of the day, people get there. They survive. They adapt. They make you laugh. And sometimes… they even make you cry.

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