Niki’s EXTREMELY UNASKED-FOR Airbnb Reviews: Australia’s Worst Prisons


 

Niki’s EXTREMELY UNASKED-FOR Airbnb Reviews: 

Australia’s Worst Prisons 


1. Goulburn Correctional Centre (NSW)

⭐️☆☆☆☆
✨ The Supermax “Digital Detox Retreat” ✨
No phone. No people. No eye contact. No joy.
This is where Australia sends the absolute final boss level offenders.
Famous guests: Ivan Milat + a very exclusive list of “do not engage” humans
Rooms are designed so you can’t even see another person properly — because even other prisoners are like, “yeah… nah.”
Why it made the list: If prisons had a “final level”… this is it.

2. Broome Regional Prison (WA)
⭐️☆☆☆☆
✨ Heritage Horror Stay ✨
You know when Airbnb says “rustic charm”? This is not that.
Think crumbling, outdated, and described as one of the worst facilities in the country.
Famous guests: The building itself is the main character here
Heat? Yes. Comfort? No.
Why it made the list: Even global watchdogs looked at it and said “this needs help.”

3. Risdon Prison (TAS)
⭐️☆☆☆☆
✨ Open Plan Living (Against Your Will) ✨
Overcrowding so intense your personal space is basically theoretical.
Tension is high, space is low, and the vibe is… unsettling.
Famous guests: Martin Bryant
Imagine living somewhere where everyone is stressed, packed in, and not exactly friendly.
Why it made the list: It’s chaotic, crowded, and has a seriously heavy history.

4. Yatala Labour Prison (SA)
⭐️☆☆☆☆
✨ Industrial Minimalism ✨
If your dream aesthetic is “bare concrete and consequences,” you’re sorted.
One of the oldest prisons still running — and it feels like it.
Famous guests: SA’s most serious offenders and serial killers.  John Bunting, Von Einem and more!
No frills, no comfort, just structure and discipline.
Why it made the list: Old-school prison energy that never got the memo about upgrades.

5. Long Bay Jail (NSW)
⭐️☆☆☆☆
✨ The “Malabar Hilton” Experience ✨
They called it a Hilton… which is honestly one of history’s boldest lies.
This place is old, notorious, and carries decades of criminal history in its walls.
Famous guests: Neddy Smith, Roger Rogerson
The atmosphere? Let’s just say you’d sleep with one eye open… if you could sleep at all.
Why it made the list: Reputation alone could carry this place.

6. Barwon Prison (VIC)
⭐️☆☆☆☆
✨ High-Intensity Living ✨
This is where things don’t just happen… they escalate.
High-security, high-profile inmates, and a long history of serious incidents.
Famous guests: Carl Williams
Not exactly a peaceful coexistence situation.
Why it made the list: Violence and tension are part of the environment.

7. Casuarina Prison (WA)
⭐️☆☆☆☆
✨ Maximum Security, Maximum Stress ✨
Western Australia’s most secure facility — meaning everyone here is not someone you want to share a hallway with.
Famous guests: Some of WA’s most dangerous offenders
Highly controlled, heavily monitored, and constantly under pressure.
Why it made the list: It’s built for containment, not comfort.

8. Lithgow Correctional Centre (NSW)
⭐️☆☆☆☆
✨ Mountain Escape (But Make It Grim) ✨
Technically scenic… if you ignore everything else.
Cold climate, isolated location, and a population of serious offenders.
Famous guests: Violent offenders across decades (currently 460)
The kind of place where the environment matches the mood — bleak.
Why it made the list: Isolation + high-risk inmates = not relaxing.

9. Arthur Gorrie Correctional Centre (QLD)
⭐️☆☆☆☆
✨ Fast-Paced Short Stay Chaos ✨
This is a remand centre, so people are constantly coming and going — but somehow the tension never leaves.
Overcrowding, pressure, and a lot of uncertainty.
Famous guests: A rotating cast of high-risk offenders awaiting trial
It’s busy, unpredictable, and far from calm.
Why it made the list: Feels less like accommodation, more like a pressure cooker.

10. Cessnock Correctional Centre (NSW)
⭐️☆☆☆☆
✨ “Lively” Social Hub ✨
By lively, we mean gangs, drugs, and a reputation that precedes it.
It’s one of the tougher jails in NSW, with plenty happening behind the scenes.
Famous guests: Underworld-linked inmates and organised crime figures
Not exactly a peaceful community environment.
Why it made the list: There’s always something going on… and none of it is good.

💡 Final review from Niki:
No spa.
No minibar.
No checkout time… ever.

0/10 — would rather fight a kangaroo in the Outback.


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